You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize
