I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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