Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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