is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
