he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
