So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
