the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
