Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
