your thong is hanging out like whoa
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
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Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
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My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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