hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Randomize
