How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
