i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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