when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
