there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
