I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
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