Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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