he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
