just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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