thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
i am craving dick and cupcakes
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
