Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize