he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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