u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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