Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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