I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
