I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Randomize
