Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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