I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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