Already got asked if we're dating
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
They left me at home... I'm a liability
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
