adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
