Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
