i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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