I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
