Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
