you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
