Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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