i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
