ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
