I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
