The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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