drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
