I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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