His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
