my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
how does that bad decision feel?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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