dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
