So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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