After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
