Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
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