Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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