is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
it's great music for shaving your balls
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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