okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
