I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
