i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
