Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
