Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
