I must be too annoying 4 u.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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