There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
