do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
the night ended with taco bell and tears
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
