There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
