I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
sex in a hospital.. check
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
