Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
