i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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