piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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