i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
i black out too much to be "responsible"
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
