I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize
