Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
