WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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